More Movies

9. Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore – From the early 1970’s and a great example of how quality never goes out of style.  Ellen Burstyn is excellent as a young widow with a son who’s trying to rebuild her life in the wake of her husband’s sudden death.  What strikes me always is that the tragedy was not her husband dying, the tragedy was her life with him.  She was dependent on him, lived in fear of him, and walked on eggshells around him.  When he dies, she’s suddenly forced to become her own woman and decide what she wants for herself, and it turns out, she wants to follow a long-abandoned dream of being a singer, and wants a different kind of man, one who respects her and supports her aspirations.  The audience is taken along for her growing pains, and her waking up to becoming the person she wants to be.  You don’t want to miss this movie.

10.  Titanic – I never said I wasn’t a sucker for a great love story, and mixed with a tragic piece of real life history, it’s a winner.  And we have the battle between rich and poor, young versus old, following your heart versus doing what’s expected for someone else’s approval.  One of my favorite lines is when Rose is unpacking her paintings on the ship and says to her servant, “The difference between my taste in art and Mr. (whatever her fiance’s name was) is that I have some.”  The other classic was “Now I know I’m in first class, music to drown by.”

Hit List – Wednesday

7.  Clean and Sober  – Michael Keaton in an uncharacteristically  serious role.  He plays a high end real estate agent who’s on the run from the law (I’ll let you see the movie to find out why) and so picks a most unusual place to hide: a substance rehab facility.  Ironically, he is an alcoholic and drug addict who needs to be there.  A point comes where he faces that reality, and we begin to see a transformation.  Keaton’s acting is great, the story is intelligent and true to life, and all-around entertaining to watch.  Great movie, and for some reason of which I’m not quite sure, I prefer Michael Keaton in this above all his comedies.

8.  Norma Rae  – Iconic classic with Sally Field in a fact-based story about how much work and struggle it takes to bring in a union to underpaid and exploited textile workers.  Norma Rae’s belief that this would make life better for everyone and single-minded determination to stand up to the powers that be, make the difference and make it happen.  The character she plays is uneducated, has few resources, yet finds her strength and power in doing what she believes is right.  This movie is at times funny, sad, bittersweet, but at all times inspiring.  Great testament to the strength of human spirit.

Hit List – Friday

5. Duets – “Karaoke, it’s a way of life!”  So goes the mantra of this delightful movie.  I love karaoke, and this film about it is pure fun.  It has several plots going all at the same time, involving families, career, relationships, with karaoke the common thread in all of them.  It’s funny, it’s moving, and filled with great music.

6.  White Palace – another star-crossed lovers story, but this one is a cut above.  Susan Sarandon (Nora) is a middle-aged woman who works in a burger joint, and has given up on almost everything and everyone….until she meets  James Spader’s character (Max), a high-society businessman.    They have a one night stand, and a romance develops from there.  Neither one of them is sure that their different ages and stations in life can be overcome.  Eileen Brennan plays Nora’s psychic sister who stops for a visit in the middle of all this.  When she hears Max talk about how they met, says it was magic and that he’s been coming back to her ever since, Eileen Brennan looks at Nora and says, “This man loves you.”

Hit List Con’t

3. Gorillas in the Mist – The photography of the African wilderness is beautiful, Sigourney Weaver’s acting is excellent as always, but what I really love about this movie is the story.  It’s a portrait of a woman with a single-minded passion, to preserve mountain gorillas.  There was no one like her or even anyone else who did the work that she did, and her work was quite amazing.  She developed an intimacy with the creatures she was trying to save, and managed to convince them that she was one of them.  This is the true story of Diane Fossey.  She was outspoken, sometimes ruthless in what she would do to further her cause, and made some enemies in the process.  It was inspiring to see a story of such a unique woman who lived in line with who she was.  This is film with many interesting layers, complex human relationships, passion for work, and a study of the lovely and endangered mountain gorillas.

4.  Marty – This is a very old movie, but it is wonderful.  It’s the story of a lonely butcher who feels life has passed him by because he hasn’t gotten married.  Finally he meets a woman that he likes, and has some real possibility for a long term relationship.  His friends give him alot of crap because they don’t think she’s pretty enough, and Marty almost caves to the pressure to let this opportunity for love go.  Finally he realizes that being with someone you care for matters more than what other people think.  I won’t give away the ending in case you haven’t seen it. Every time I watch it, it moves me.  The power and message in the story is timeless, and as relevent today was when the movie was made some 50 years ago.

The Hit List

Now that I’ve posted my list of my movies that I feel are some of the worst films I’ve seen, now I’ll take the opportunity to post the ones I love the most, and it’s a long list, so I’ll have to break it down to a few at a time.

1. Harold and Maude – Best known for being a black comedy of cult status, it’s the story of a most unlikely love connection, an 18 year old boy and a 79 year old woman.  They share a hobby of attending funerals for fun, and both have an obsession with death for very different reasons, and surprisingly enough, both reasons are very life-affirming.  There’s a scene where Harold is doing one of his fake suicide attempts in the pool (you’ll have to see the movie to get this) and his mother goes for a swim, rolls her eyes at him and continues what she’s doing.  It’s a delightful movie, and one which resonates with me on so many levels.  I see and feel so much of me in both of these characters.  Ultimately its theme is about living and loving to the fullest with however much or little time you have on this earth.  And the Cat Stevens soundtrack of songs is fantastic.  Ruth Gordon is wonderful as Maude, and it would be worth seeing her even if you liked nothing else about the movie.

2. Pieces of April – I don’t know if there are words to describe how much I love this movie, and that’s saying a lot when you’re a writer!  The writing is phenomenal: tender, loving, emotional, and at the same time so intelligent and funny.  Despite not knowing how to cook, April is hosting Thanksgiving dinner.  Though not close to her family, she offers to do this because her mother has breast cancer and it may be their last Thanksgiving with her.  She gets a rude awakening when the oven doesn’t work just as she’s ready to put the turkey in, and proceeds to knock on doors in her apartment building in an attempt to borrow an oven so she can still cook dinner.  Katie Holmes shines as April in all her imperfect glory.  Patricia Clarkson as the mother dares to be an unlikable character who surprisingly redeems herself in the end.  It has a lilting, unusual soundtrack of music that is not heard in the mainstream, which adds an element that uniquely belongs to this movie.  Once you see this, you’ll need to watch it every year to celebrate Thanksgiving.

Battle Lines

     Last weekend someone I barely knew in high school posted something on her facebook that I found very offensive.  It was a photo of a supposedly aborted fetus, dead and bloody.  Based on what I’ve read, more than likely that photo was of a stillbirth or a very late-term abortion, because it looked like a full-term baby.  A photo like that in everyone’s face is not a point of view or a respectful discussion, it’s manipulation.

     Insult was added to injury when one of her friends put down the comment, “I send these to all my liberal friends, in the hopes that they’ll grow a heart.”  After seeing more comments of this nature added to it, I had to speak up.  I basically said that photos like that don’t change anyone’s mind because most people can see it for the manipulative tactic that it is.  Furthermore, I have liberal views and I’m quite certain that I have a heart.  I pointed out that there are good people on both sides of this issue, and being disrespectful to the other side doesn’t help the cause for those who are against abortion.  At no point did I state my view on this issue.  I was absolutely villified for challenging the use of that photo.  I was called names, told I had no heart because if I did I would be affected as they wanted from that photo.  I was called ignorant, a hypocrite, a moron.  One person would not even contend that anyone else was allowed a point of view.  He said there’s only one point if view, it’s murder.

     For people who have a cause and want laws changed, the militantly anti-abortion are quite mean.  I’m not using the term “pro-life” for a reason.  That label implies that anyone with something different to say than them is against life, and that’s not the case.

     If you don’t believe in or agree with abortion, then don’t have one.  You have the right to make that choice.  But who are you to say that choice must be made by every woman?  Who are you to say that every woman should be forced to complete a pregnancy, even if it’s against her will?  It’s not your body, and it’s not your decision. You may be of the view that ending a pregnancy at any stage is the same as shooting someone in the head on the street.  Not everyone sees it that way.  Not everyone agrees that a thirty day embryo is the same as a thirty year old adult.

     Who are you to be so mean to anyone who challenges your views or your tactics?  How many abortions are you personally stopping with this behavior?  Unless you’re accosting someone outside a clinic and successfully manipulating them into feeling guilty, then the answer is none.  Because it’s done in the privacy of a woman’s life and body.  It’s never going to be illegal again just as the segregated south will never come back.

    Do I think abortion is a good thing? No, it’s not.  Is it a choice I would make?  Probably not.  But I support the right of every woman to do what is best for her.

     If you want to reduce abortions, then support birth control education.  Support single mothers.  Start by loving and respecting the lives surrounding you in your world.  Wouldn’t that be more constructive than putting imflammatory photos in people’s faces in an attempt to make them agree with you?

The Dirty Dozen: Twelve of my least favorite films

 1. The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and her Lover – As one reviewer accurately phrased it, a most loathsome film. The story, and I use that term loosely, jumps between the wife and her lover having sex in the restaurant’s ladies room, to the chef and his tirades in the kitchen, to things like an open truck showing a cornucopia of rotting food with maggots crawling all over it. There’s practically no plot, no intelligent dialogue, and it truly frightens me to think of the mind that felt this was a worthy film to make.

2. A Knight’s Tale – Many of the films on my worst list are on my sister’s best list, and this is one of them. Maybe it’s that I’m just not a fan of Chaucer or his Canterbury Tales, and even less of a fan of one English professor who was a Chaucer scholar. I dropped his class because I couldn’t take the boredom anymore. I would say this movie didn’t hold my attention, but it never got my attention in the first place.

3. Larry the Cable Guy – Seriously, do I need to even explain this one? For those who haven’t seen it, let me sum it up: stupid, vulgar, inane.

4. Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death – I haven’t seen it, but the title gives us enough information to suggest it belongs on this list.

5. The Sons of Katie Elder – Quintessential archetype of a movie that disgusts me. The old west, macho men of generations past, and an all around testosterone festival. What it lacks in thoughtful, dramatic dialogue it makes up for in threats, gun-slinging, shooting to kill, and men fighting over women and their mother’s ranch. Oh, and it’s one of my father’s favorite movies. Enough said.

6. Halloween (and all its sequels) – Slasher heaven, if you like that sort of thing. If you’re into blood, guts, and random violence on a very low budget, this might be up your alley.

7. Motel Hell – What do you get when you combine a homicidal farmer/motel owner with beef jerky and cannibalism? That’s right, this movie. Don’t worry, though, the dismembered and discombobulated “meat” rises from the graveyard and fights back. As campy as it gets, and more amusing than scary. Most memorable line: “It takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent’s fritters.”

8. Attack of the Killer Tomatoes – Giant, rolling, mutated, evil-mongering tomatoes. I love tomatoes. Why would someone make them into psychotic criminals, not to mention bigger than life? Only one word to describe this movie: Puhlease.

9. Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill, pick a Quentin Tarantino movie – His movies are all pretty much the same: a barrage of one violent and dismembering, decapitating encounter after another, laced with either bad or black humor. For some, the beauty of an action/adventure/bloody violence film is that it does not engage either the mind or the emotions. It requires nothing of the viewer except a catatonic coma as it all passes before your eyes.

10. The Princess Bride – I realize this is one that is well-liked by many people. I, however, am not one of them. This brings me to a key truth about the movie business. Some films can be extremely popular and commercially successful, and at the same time, cinematic junk. Does this mean there are more people in the world with bad taste than good? Probably. As far as I’m concerned, this is an example of money-making crap. Think The Cat in the Hat meets Grimm’s Fairy Tales. Either one of those separately is a better story than this. Hard to believe this came from a director who made one of my favorite movies.

11. Beach Blanket Bingo – Good lord, where do I even start? Think of a campy 60’s cult version of Baywatch with less cleavage. Pretty people on the beach, bad music, a motorcycle gang in black leather, wisecracks from Paul Lynde and Don Rickles, and of course, playing bingo on the beach. And we get to see Frankie Avalon being a womanizing, sexist pig. What a concept! The most beautiful and interesting character in this film: the Pacific ocean.

12. Leaving Las Vegas – This one is on my list not so much because it’s a bad movie. It’s actually a good movie: well-made, well-acted, and thought-provoking. One could have all kinds of discussions about the limits of unconditional love, alcoholism, prostitution, and suicide. It does engage with intelligence in a very gritty and true to life way. This film, however, has one huge flaw, so huge it just about overshadows all its good points. This is one of the most, if not the most, depressing films ever made. It’s not just that the ending is unsatisfying or simply a bad one for the viewer. It’s the culmination of complete and utter hopelessness. Right up until the end you hope for these characters, that something good will happen to them or they will find something within themselves to turn their lives around. Instead, the movie ends with the worst possible outcome. That may be reality for some, but it doesn’t make for a good movie.

Hollywood Endings

The movies

sometimes capture

life

better than life

not just bigger

smarter

fresher

falling in line

with the end

as it should be

with all the things

said that need

to be said

leaving the viewer

wondering

if the characters

in the story know

how far

real life falls short

of the Hollywood ending

That’s the magic

they don’t

nor do they

ever need to.

Say It Ain’t So

     I’ve heard Dr. Phil say it a few times.  For every negative thing a parent says to their child, at least 15 positive things are needed to counterbalance it.  Is that a testament to the power of negative messages or to the power of a parent’s messages in general?  Maybe both.

     Without that positive balance, does a person spend their life trying to find the opposition to all the negative that they heard over and over? That they still hear inside?  Is there ever any convincing when there is no internal sense of worth?  Will there ever be enough outward validation for it to seep inside and somehow stay there?

     This is my struggle, and the root of my current existential crisis.  I’m still waiting for someone to finish my book and say something about it.  That no one has makes me wonder if it’s worth anything.  Does it have any meaning to anyone besides me?  Is the writing even good enough to sustain anyone’s interest?  Did I spend a few years putting my heart and soul into something, that in the final analysis, doesn’t matter to anyone else?  And so I find myself doubting, the worth of the text, the quality of the writing, and my own self-worth.  Will there ever be a voice loud enough, long enough, strong enough, to make me a believer?  To tell me it isn’t so, that I’m not who any of them saw.  I don’t know the answer.  Every day brings a battle to erase their voices, to separate where they end and I begin.

Market Share

 If I get the chance to stop and make small talk with anyone I do.  After all, I love people.  Makin ’em smile makes my day.  Lemme tell you what happened when I was tryin to make someone smile at Big Top Market. 

     I was doin my shopping.  First I wheel around the corner and pick up the olives and macaroni and cheese that’s on sale.  Next I grab me some Dr. Pepper cuz that’s all I like to drink.  Then I need to get me some meat so I stroll on over to the service counter.  If you know anythin about the full service meat display in that store, you know they carry some “unique” items.  Along with all the normal stuff that most people buy, they have things like chicken feet, mountain oysters, intestines, tongues, or all the stuff them Chinese eat when they’re not frying up somebody’s cat and calling it garlic chicken, not that I really believe they do that, but if I’m in one of they restaurants, I won’t order no chicken or no beef, just to be on the safe side.  Today’s pepper steak mighta been someone’s pet dog or horse yesterday.  But let me get back to the story.

     One of the clerks sees me and walks over to where I am. 

     “Can I help you sir?” 

     “You sure can, Lenny” I say leaning over to see his nametag.  “Lemme have a coupla pounds of  ground beef but wrap ‘em in two packages so I can toss one of ‘em in the freezer.” 

     One good thing about all that exotic mess they sell, you know they beef is really beef.  They be selling all the other parts of the cow here so you know it’s got to be genuine happy cow from California or wherever they get it from. 

     “So how you doin today?  Customers keeping you busy? 

     “I’m doing fine.  They’re keeping me running and on my toes that’s for sure.  Can I get you something else?”

     “Yeah Lenny, I need me some pork chops, about a half inch thick and trim the fat if you don’t mind.” 

     And you know that’s really pig since they got a pile of y-shaped hoofs for sale too.  Lenny hands me my three packages all wrapped up nice in that paper they use. 

     “That’ll do it.  You have yourself a good one, Lenny.”

     So I take my cart and roll on over to the produce section.  Some of they stuff in this department is pretty good, you know, it looks fresh and like it mighta at least come from somewhere here in America and not some farm in South America.  Lemme tell you, you don’t know where they hands has been or even if they have indoor plumbing to wash they hands out there in that Amazon jungle.  My mama always used to squirt some dish detergent on her apples and nectarines, to scrub off the pesticide and whatever else might be on there.  At least with fruit you can’t pass it off to be something it’s not in no Chinese restaurant.

     After I toss the lettuce, tomatoes, and bananas in my cart, I think I’m done over here.  No wait, them oranges look really good, lemme get some of those too. Then I roll on over to the frozen section to get me some Ben and Jerry’s they have on sale, and whatever kinda pizza they trying to get rid of this week.

     There’s a cute little white lady trying to get something from the top shelf.  She is lookin fine, let me tell you, with her blonde highlights and pink lipstick, and some perfume that you know didn’t come from no drugstore.  Probably came from Macy’s or some other store fulla overpriced shit.  I bet it was one that they had someone standing there by the counters spraying the shit on people as they walk by.  I’m a man, don’t be sprayin no ladies perfume on me.  At least warn me when I’m walking through the spot where you been shootin mist from that bottle all day.

     This lady can’t reach what she’s trying to get.  She probably wants some Wolfgang Puck pizza or Amy’s organic mess. 

     “You need some help getting that mam?” 

     She turns to face me and those frosted pink lips break into a smile.  “Yes I do.  I’m trying to get that Pepperidge farm key lime cake.” 

     I reach up and get her the box she wants.  “You need anything else from this shelf while I’m here?” 

     “Just the cake.  Thank you.” 

     “Always glad to help a pretty lady.”      

     I’ve got everything I need.  I’m a checkout real quick then go home and grill me some burgers.  Couple drops of Tabasco on ‘em won’t hurt either.  Maybe I’ll throw on some blue cheese just to be all gourmet about it. These lines is long.  They need more checkers working in this place.  A young girl comes to open a new lane.  It’s my lucky day.  I’m a get over there and get out of here right quick. 

     “Hello there, Janie.  Thank you so much for takin me out of the other long lines, girlfriend.”  She says “hi” barely loud enough for even me to hear.  No smile on her face.  She like angry cement.  Oh hell no.  I hate it when they give you the silent treatment and act all rude like you bothering them by being their customer. 

    “I said hello Janie.  How are you doin today?” 

     “And I said hello back.” 

     She still a stone face, but now her eyes look like they burnin.  If them eyes could talk they would say, “I’d like to reach across this counter and shove that orange down your throat until you choke to death.”

     No sooner does she start scanning my items when another checker yells across a few lanes to this one. 

     “Janie, could you please not be late coming back from your break again.  These lines got all backed up and now I can’t leave on time for my break.”    

     Now them homicidal eyes are on someone besides me.  Janie doesn’t say nothin to either of us.  Instead she starts slamming down each item of mine after she scans it.  My ground beef almost rips open. My box of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese gets all bent.   

     “Excuse me, could you please not be so rough on my food?”  You know what?  She started slamming the shit harder after I said that, bruising my fruit, making my lettuce all fly apart. 

     “Oh hell no.  This ain’t gonna fly. Don’t you be abusing shit that I’m paying for.  Get me a manager over here, and I mean right now.  GET ME A MANAGER.”

     Finally this little guy who looks like he’s someone’s pool boy comes over. 

     “What’s the problem here?” 

     “Your employee, winner of the miss bad attitude award, damaged my food because she was mad at her co-worker.  I ain’t takin the things she smashed.  Replace all these items and then I’ll leave.” 

    Well you know pool boy has to do something cuz now all the other customers have stopped and they watchin like we was doin Shakespeare under the circus tent. 

     That little man goes and does a repeat of all my shopping, and puts everything in the bags as neatly as he can.  Upon seeing this the other customers start whistling and clapping.  I leave that store with my un-bruised groceries feeling triumphant, like Norma Rae when she stood up on that table.  Yes sir, I do love people.